tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45134654113301512024-03-04T22:32:42.700-08:00IF I COULD SING...The home of If I Could Sing This Would Be A Record Label Publishing.
Usually unedited thoughts and ramblings. Often fancy, often deep, perhaps occasionally inspirational.Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.comBlogger78125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-23822943903815528932015-05-06T09:37:00.002-07:002015-05-06T09:37:58.738-07:00Old Dixon Ticonderoga
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This is about pencils and wanting to get away from screens and draw shitty cartoons.</div>
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Old Dixon Ticonderoga #2</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpwHNNAhZqwXHgy7ipiim9-rJ2_j1aLJVSILrL6IzhgIv8mh5Cfdt12qh0VjblfgRjUgvz5I2EqKa4rlVhTLaB_fq_uqF8blM-KRpRC2j6dXi5M70d_Gak35rgDPOPZlQQNYACl7gecKI/s1600/IMG_2597.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpwHNNAhZqwXHgy7ipiim9-rJ2_j1aLJVSILrL6IzhgIv8mh5Cfdt12qh0VjblfgRjUgvz5I2EqKa4rlVhTLaB_fq_uqF8blM-KRpRC2j6dXi5M70d_Gak35rgDPOPZlQQNYACl7gecKI/s1600/IMG_2597.JPG" height="119" width="320" /></a></div>
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It’s raining out the window</div>
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and my eyes are pixelating</div>
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Staring at computer screens.</div>
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I just want to pick up my </div>
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Old Dixon Ticonderoga</div>
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and draw shitty pictures of my </div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Dreams.</div>
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My iPhone is buzzing</div>
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To say I’m 10 minutes late,</div>
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My eyes are heavy,</div>
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and my give-a-damn is waning.</div>
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I just want to pick up my </div>
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Old Dixon Ticonderoga </div>
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and draw shitty pictures of my </div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Dreams.</div>
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I’ve been up and running</div>
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for what seems like 47 hours,</div>
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but it’s only been 129 minutes.</div>
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Don’t know why I’m counting down,</div>
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when there’s no rocket to launch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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I just want to pick up my </div>
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Old Dixon Ticonderoga</div>
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and draw shitty pictures of my </div>
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My mind is ruminating </div>
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on all the stupid shit I wish</div>
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I’d never done</div>
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Sometimes I think I’ve</div>
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just forgotten what it’s</div>
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like to simply have some fun.</div>
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Life needs a giant eraser </div>
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I’d just wipe some </div>
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mis-(or missed)-adventures away,</div>
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and start over again</div>
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with a relatively clean page.</div>
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I just want to pick up my </div>
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Old Dixon Ticonderoga</div>
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and draw shitty pictures of my</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Dreams.</div>
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I’m a terrible artist so </div>
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this metaphor is lame,</div>
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I don’t care because I’m</div>
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drawing superheroes</div>
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flying through outer space.</div>
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My mind is like 2-year old</div>
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scattered all over the place.</div>
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I just want to pick up my</div>
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Old Dixon Ticonderoga</div>
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And draw shitty pictures of my </div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Dreams.</div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-11685631763326893012015-05-03T12:29:00.003-07:002015-05-03T12:29:40.401-07:00Dr. Who and the Orthodic Alien Burrito
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A Doctor Who Short story Written as my wife's mothers day card. Picture the 11th doctor (Matt Pond) </div>
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Dr. Who and the Orthodic
Alien Burrito</div>
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On a random Sunday at an
unspecified relatively unimportant moment in the history of the Universe, an
antique, blue, and extremely British Police Box Apperated (the official Harry
Potter word for disappearing from one location and appearing elsewhere as a
method of transportation) in front of a decidedly weird and busy pink doughnut
shop in what appeared to be a city of some sort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Despite a slight rain, a large line of people
were lined up outside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“OOOO,
Shock, awe, well, this isn’t Andy Warhol’s Factory in the 1970s,” said the
Doctor quite loudly to no one in particular.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He confidently stepped out of the box in a bowtie and tattered
suit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Excuse me, Flannel-Beard-Guy and
Pierced-Tattooed-High-Wasted-Bike-Short Woman, where and when am I?”</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Portland,
Mother’s Day, 2015,” said Beard Guy as the doughnut line continued to snake
around the newly present Police Box without stopping or moving at all in
response to the new arrival.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No
response, no shock, no surprise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Come on
people, random man, British accent, appearing a Pacific Northwest Street,” said
the exasperated time-traveler with a hint of disappointment.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“The Time
Based art event is in a few months but that effect was pretty cool,” said
Pierced-Tattooed-High-Wasted-Bike-Short Woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“you should totally enter it.”</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well, um
yes, that’s why I’m here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Art
installation on the impact of emergency medical communication with a British
accent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Carry on…or first…”</div>
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Fifteen Minutes later, the Doctor was riding down the
Portland streets in the rain on a fixed gear bicycle, loudly singing Oasis
songs for no apparent reason, eating a doughnut made of bacon and maple
syrup.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The Doctor
road around the town for a while getting soaked by the slow, constant downpour
but didn’t appear bothered, “the traffic’s better than London, but the
weather’s the same…” he said again to no one in particular.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It must’ve been around 5pm when the doctor
heard someone yell, “nice bow-tie” from the sidewalk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was an overweight man with impressive
sideburns pushing a stroller near what could only be a delicious Mexican
Restaurant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Inside was a small and
loquacious human around 2- years-old or approximately 2/968ths of the Doctor’s age.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Doctor thought this was as good of a place
to stop as any.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His travel companions
were visiting family and there was no Dalek invasion, so a burrito sounded
fantastic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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As the Doctor tried to stop, he
realized the bike he had found in a long lost Tardis closet had no functioning
breaks, so he frantically waved the sonic screwdriver at the wheel as he
slammed the curb toppled over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Are you
ok” said the side-burned man as he reached down to help the doctor off of the
bike.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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“Ok” parroted the small human,
followed by, “gah do wahh bah noon p.”</div>
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“Right as rain little one, Peri
right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sir, your daughter here is a very
important person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe I just met
the greatest novelist of the 21<sup>st</sup> century and founder of the
Human/Alien Art Exchange.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’ll make
more sense in, oh 30 years or so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sorry,
spoilers, must’ve hit my head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I speak
baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Time to have burrito,” rambled the
doctor.</div>
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<br /></div>
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As he adjusted his suit and
straightend his wet bowtie, the sideburned man, waved down an approaching
well-dressed woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Honey,” he said,
“this man who just crashed his bike, says our daughter is going to be a
novelist and share art with aliens.”</div>
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“By the way, what is your name, I’m
Bob and this is my wife Morgan, and daughter who’s name your creepily know.”</div>
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“Sir, we will call the cops,” said
the wife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this couple, thought the
Doctor, this woman is the one who means business.</div>
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“Sorry, I’m the Doctor, a
time-traveling alien.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think I’m here
to buy you dinner and give you some advice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Bob, judging from you Star Wars shoes, this may be your perfect evening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shall we.”</div>
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“Go ahead Bob,” said Morgan, “might
as well see where this leads, besides, Pablo at the bar will take care of him
if he tries anything fishy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t forget
your daughter.”</div>
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Bob grabbed the toddler who was
nearly out of the stroller and pushed through the door behind the Doctor and
Morgan who were already at the bar ordering Margaritas and Burritos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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“Well, you aren’t surprised to be
talking to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one in this town seems
to care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So disappointing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like making and entrance,” said the doctor
while he and Morgan waited for Bob to order.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Peri ran and gave her mother a giant hug.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Seriously, it’s like this is common place.”</div>
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“Doctor, Portland is weird.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s a unicycling bagpiper and multiple
adult marching bands that can sell out concerts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think at this point we all just take things
as they come,” explained Morgan.</div>
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<br /></div>
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They all sat down around a
table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Peri slid from her mother and
climbed on the Doctor’s lap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bob seemed
anxious but Morgan seemed not to mind at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“Babies like me,” said the Doctor, “but I think this one pooped.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bob grabbed the small one from the Doctor and
headed towards the bathroom.</div>
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“Morgan,” said the Doctor, “you’re
the one I’m actually here to see.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
about<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>20 years from now on a linear
timeline , I travel with your daughter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She asked that I come back here and tell you that you’re amazing and you
do an amazing job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Peri told me to tell
you that you taught her how to be strong and sensitive and human and that it
might help for you to hear it from a well-dressed stranger.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As he said this a tear came to Morgan’s
eye.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Also, spoilers, enjoy the Cirque
de Solei.”</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Of course,
I’m also here to stop the alien monster living inside your foot from taking
over the world…the creature in the orthotic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Kind of forgot about that fact when I grabbed my doughnut.”</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Morgan’s
foot began to twitch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She fell on her
back but her leg was whipping around in the air.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Bartender, Pablo right, can you get me a Gin
and Tequila in a diet coke with a maraschino garnish, quickly please.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kind of wrestling a possessed leg here.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The patrons in the restaurant barely looked
up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their food was good and they didn’t
want to disturb this dinner theater that they would blog cynically about
later.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Pablo
brought the doctor the drink as a double tall in a pint glass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The doctor quickly dumped it on the Morgan’s
shoe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her leg stopped shaking as her
shoe slipped itself of her foot, wiggled its way to the corner and began
snoring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pablo and the doctor helped
Morgan up and sat her down shaking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“Morgan, I have to take this shoe back to it’s home planet, NIKEA but
don’t forget my message, and thanks for dinner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Peri says happy Mother’s Day, from the future”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Doctor left just as Bob and Peri came out
of the bathroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Peri was in new pants.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Morgan
walked over, picked up Peri and gave her a big hug.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bob was confused, but that was his normal
state of being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Peri knowingly looked
out the window and waved to the raggedy bow-tied man getting in a blue box
outside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Doctor gave her a wink and
mouthed, “call me!” and disappeared.</div>
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<br /></div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-65882660968107436882015-04-25T10:12:00.003-07:002015-04-25T10:12:44.787-07:00Short Poems on Anxiety.Time to get vaguely confessional. Throughout life, I've struggled a lot with anxiety and mental health issues. Recently, I feel I've made some changes that have helped a lot and am feeling pretty damn good. That said, here are some short poems that are reflections on anxiety. This is a common topic for me, so I've also put 2 of my favorite songs about anxiety in here too: Jeff Rosenstock's Nausea and Green Days Brainstew. Enjoy and please don't look at these with concern, but as some reflection.<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Short Anxiety Poems</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will crush you</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Said<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the creature in
the hole</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To the man.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Crush you from the inside.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
____ </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mid-30s angst poetry</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is complaining about taxes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And traffic</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And a lack of sleep.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
______ </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My Ipod is breaking</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They don’t make them any more</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Can you imagine getting phone call on your</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Discman in 1999?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes I want to rip my phone</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Back into it’s components,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I just want to relax</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And listen to songs about </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Zoning out and anxiety.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
_________ </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wine</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Great</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It breaks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Down</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Designed</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Barriers</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hold back</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Incredible Hulk </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of anxiety</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You wouldn’t<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>like me</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I’m spiraling.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
_________ </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t sit through </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A tv show</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because I get so</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Worried about</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What the characters</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Think about me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
_____________</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am Petrified </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
of a simple phone call</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
to anyone anywhere.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thanks and keep rocking!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-66449014879135583302015-04-24T10:28:00.003-07:002015-04-24T10:28:53.282-07:00Kids (that's not) Music<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
More rant than poem and very unproofread. Before reading, note that I own my own bullshit on the topic of kids music and music taste. This isn't about most kids music or playing it on occasion, it's about awful and insulting kids music that teaches baby talking instead of how to enjoy a song. This could also be because I'm a bad parent and refuse to let my kid control my stereo! That's my stereo, hands off the dial!!!<br />
<br />
Stream of Conciousness Rant.<br />
<br />
Kids (that's not) Music<br />
<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is no bigger insult</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Than academic music made for kids.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s terrible.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No Good, Very Bad</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Shit pile bad.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bleeding ears</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nails on chalk board bad.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now I’m not talking</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
About the best of Disney,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or an old punk rockers decision </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To grow up and write songs for 7 year olds.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not even Sesame Street</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or Woody Guthrie and Pete Seeger.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m talking about God Awful</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dumbed down,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fake Americana</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Horse crap.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Baby talking,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Insulting.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Songs designed for kids</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By people, I’m convinced have never actually</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Enjoyed a song.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Kids music is the Ramones,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Green Day, REM, Beatles, Iron Maiden …</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
…Public Enemy, Beastie Boys, Run DMC,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Run the Jewels and B.I.G.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or any other number of things</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You’d like to get hyped about.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whatever can get you jumping </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Up and down,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Singing into a hairbrush</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And swiveling your hips</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the comfort of </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your living room at 545 am</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is probably the best songs for you kid.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
…but no judgment…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
if you get down and jumping,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
to a condescending old man</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and fake group of kids </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
singing about barn animals,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
then get as stoked as you can,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and own it, and rock it out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Kids feed on your rocking.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
…not my crotchety hipster parent</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
music opinions.</div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-36112119762202716982015-04-17T11:18:00.002-07:002015-04-17T11:18:49.173-07:00Spaceman, Spacewoman and the Hero's JourneyI've had this poem in my head for a while. The Star Wars the Force Awakens trailer yesterday actually ended up helping me finish it up. Old grey Han Solo!<br />
<br />
Spaceman, Spacewoman and the Hero's Journey<br />
<br />
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Spaceman, Spacewoman</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Speaking in laser sounds</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And mouthed explosions</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my bed</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Looking out my window</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dreaming of </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jedi and saving the day.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s not a day</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
since my youth</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
when I haven’t imagined</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Being the star</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
of a hero’s journey,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
from overweight,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
unmotivated</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
anti-social nerd</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To intergalactic space knight</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
in the span of a montage</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and unlikely coincidence.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Spaceman, Spacewoman</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Speaking in laser sounds</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And mouthed explosions</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my bed</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Looking out my window</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dreaming of </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jedi and saving the day.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I know </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I age,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The number of chances</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
to be whisked away</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
get fewer and fewer.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m a dad</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and a husband,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The hero’s journey now</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
amounts to neglect of </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
people who love me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t be</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
the bored kid,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
who finds out that</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
he is the chosen one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Spaceman, Spacewoman</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Speaking in laser sounds</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And mouthed explosions</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my bed</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Looking out my window</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dreaming of </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jedi and saving the day.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I know,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My journey’s changing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
instead of flying away</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
to do battle</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
in a galaxy far way,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll defend my home.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and raise my daughter </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
to look up the stars and</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Out across the horizon</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because the time will come</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
when she has the chance </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
to become</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
a force to be respected</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and strike a blow</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
against </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
the empire</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Spaceman, Spacewoman</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Speaking in laser sounds</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And mouthed explosions</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my bed</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Looking out my window</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dreaming of </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jedi and saving the day.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s not a day,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
in my thirties,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
when I don’t imagine</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Being the star</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
of the hero’s journey,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
even if I play the old man,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who gives the hero </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
the courage to carry on.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am old Han Solo</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
telling stories</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
at bedtime</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before saving</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
the day.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Spaceman, Spacewoman</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Speaking in laser sounds</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And mouthed explosions</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my bed</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Looking out my window</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dreaming of </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jedi and saving the day.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEFLiepdHnsuP3atvpW8L10_4wez7VVxEmoREQm7cjqHcGAeGQJJQ0DTO_ehOiFOe2L94cknERz8-Ss85UtyQkkZIkygKPh_8sMiM4sz1VovfQltDDtj50ztZLBBbnutJd46e3-tdyXiw/s1600/IMG_2494.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEFLiepdHnsuP3atvpW8L10_4wez7VVxEmoREQm7cjqHcGAeGQJJQ0DTO_ehOiFOe2L94cknERz8-Ss85UtyQkkZIkygKPh_8sMiM4sz1VovfQltDDtj50ztZLBBbnutJd46e3-tdyXiw/s1600/IMG_2494.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-56618606974041726292015-04-08T08:44:00.002-07:002015-04-08T08:44:50.815-07:00Sugar Sugar Sugar Sugar
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am treating the next few months like a new day. I have to change some of my own bad habits. One of which is eating way too much sugar as candy. Food Addiction is a real thing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sugar Sugar Sugar Sugar</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Getting a migraine</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Getting a twitch,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I feel myself quickly needing a fix.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A bag of gummi bears</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A can of Dr. Pepper,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Quickly followed by another</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And the flow of relief</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I eat a hand full</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of sweet</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sugar Sugar Sugar Sugar</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t walk by</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A 7/11</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Without say thank heavens</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For something artificially colored.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I fill up the second drawer </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of my night stand with more</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I can get cavities </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And diabetes in the middle of the night.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sugar Sugar Sugar Sugar</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
…yes I see the hypocrisy. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I give nutrition advice </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While I can’t get control</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of my own life,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Leading by bad example.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The cravings come from childhood</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And deep set memories</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Weak willpower</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And low self esteem</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But today is a new day</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With new aches and pains</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I just have to sweat it out</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And cut it out</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sugar Sugar Sugar Sugar</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Can no longer be all that I am about.</div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-52400578833822563042015-04-06T08:25:00.003-07:002015-04-06T08:25:57.440-07:00Suburbs, bacon, Kosher wine, and my daughter.
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here's some Haiku thoughts I had visiting friends in Baltimore for the last week and some inspired by Peri. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Suburban Sprawl</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1950s happy homes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Didn’t seem so bad.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Eat Eggs and Bacon</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every Morning to live</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The only true life</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Kosher wine , Kosher Candy,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But only one brand of gluten free brownies</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Honey, we’re not in Portland.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is nothing like</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Seeing my daughter try to walk through</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A heavy wind on the pier.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After months of eating </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just bread and cheese and crackers</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She devoured fresh clams</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Easter Sunday is</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A bogus excuse to enjoy friends</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And eat good food.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Channel the excitement</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of a 2-year-old watching</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A plane take off at sunset.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-4EqDzDZfQf-JxKejJ_afXDvMPYYwHpZXZOtQNKuocBBX5vpebLs-epvr7TjRwfWM6hzmmAjeWaGucNc3_OSsHX4uwMefxC46VUQzDAC6CVtQAvc2bvCmTtbV137VBXd5SeG3h-HKQNo/s1600/11080247_10108431307444184_6465609299883805431_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-4EqDzDZfQf-JxKejJ_afXDvMPYYwHpZXZOtQNKuocBBX5vpebLs-epvr7TjRwfWM6hzmmAjeWaGucNc3_OSsHX4uwMefxC46VUQzDAC6CVtQAvc2bvCmTtbV137VBXd5SeG3h-HKQNo/s1600/11080247_10108431307444184_6465609299883805431_n.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-78504167028019930122015-03-21T10:52:00.002-07:002015-03-21T10:52:52.978-07:00This is a ToastSo, this is a poem I hand wrote Morgan and left on the seat of the car for her to find after a particularly trying set of days. I am including the original preface here for context sake...<br />
<br />
When I was in high school and college I would write toast poems, usually dedicated to being alone and doing whatever I wanted while listening to cds in my underwear and drinking diet coke or grape soda. A few key details in my life have changed since then...<br />
<br />
<br />
As I sit with a cup of tea<br />
black as a cloud Portland Night<br />
after a drunk takes out the power lines,<br />
answering the question<br />
of how hard a bike can hit a pole....<br />
Don't worry, he's ok. <br />
He jumped off<br />
and landed on a stray cat<br />
who he will take home<br />
and walk on a leash.<br />
Doesn't matter...<br />
It's just a metaphor for how dark my tea is.<br />
As I sit with said tea<br />
I make a silent toast<br />
because the tea house<br />
is crowded with people<br />
inhabiting overlapping universes.<br />
<br />
This is a toast to digressions<br />
and finding it impossible to focus<br />
<br />
This is a toast to us catching<br />
the mental capacity and maturity<br />
of a 2-year-old as if these things were<br />
childhood disease,<br />
just when it comes time to make dinner.<br />
<br />
This is a toast to never appreciating<br />
my pillow so much.<br />
<br />
A toast to impatience and impulse<br />
and attempting to plan ahead.<br />
<br />
This is a toast to lazy dogs<br />
dirty cats, hardwood floors,<br />
good wine, buckets, choo choos,<br />
owning a laundry machine,<br />
and being a toddler rosetta stone.<br />
<br />
This is a toast to you and me and the monster<br />
that sleeps in the room next door and the endless number<br />
of possibilities<br />
but being content with just a hand squeeze,<br />
a beer,<br />
a song,<br />
and falling the fuck asleep.<br />
<br />
Cheers. <br />
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-36733951491279992972015-03-09T13:42:00.001-07:002015-03-09T13:42:54.280-07:00Haiku on crappy books and My Daughter Likes DioI am working on one really inappropriate poem, but wanted to continue to post things more regularly, so more Haiku and a poem that plays to why this blog is named what it is. The first haiku is in reference to a terrible book that I had to finish for some reason.<br />
<br />
<b>Haiku</b>:<br />
<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I finished that book</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
8 months later than planned,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
no satisfaction and the wine is gone</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and in that moment I said</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cheese knives are in the back of the drawer…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was an adult.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She fell off of the playground</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Four feet off the ground and pooped</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had to stifle laughter.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>My Daughter Likes Dio </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Last night,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At rush hour</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As the sun set</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Slowly over the </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pacific Northwest,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I drove my toddler home</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While belting out my best</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Completely off key renditions of</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Metal ballads and punk rock songs</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dio and Bad Religion.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Under no illusion that I have </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The slightest iota of talent,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But for that singular </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Moment, I have my </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First and possibly</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Only adoring</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Audience</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who cries when I stop.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/64coD-rx9sk/0.jpg" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/64coD-rx9sk?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-4894779183624380942015-03-06T09:49:00.002-08:002015-03-06T09:49:39.609-08:00Haikus.<br />
<br />
I've written about these before...and often planned on writing more of them. I have them strewn accross every notebook in my house and on random documents on my computer. My goals is to, if nothing else, share a few relatively often on here. <br />
<br />
Note that my view of the Haiku is that it is an expression of a moment. To that end, I really don't care about the 5-7-5 structure though I try to stay close. These are thoughts that were in my mind that needed to get out, but not necessarily in a longer or larger way. Moments of frustration or people you see that need to be noted. I think if I make posting these a habit, a lot of them are going to be about doctor things and baby things.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I Don’t want to be </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
a doctor anymore.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I just want to be a dad.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I should start but there’s a wall.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I’ll sit and wait.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Elementary school kid</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In a pea coat and turtle shell backpack</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My vision of adulating.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been trying to finish</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The same book for eight months</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve gone to far to not like it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will never get</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
when I play them a new record,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No one else gets pumped </div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-89812462767656903492015-03-05T11:23:00.000-08:002015-03-05T11:23:03.434-08:00The Church of Competition
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have seldom if at all written over the last year and a half. This idea came to me, and this poem didn't quite get to exactly how I felt so I'll try again, but here it is, something...fresh off the brain. This one is about how no matter how hard we try we end up comparing ourselves to others and competing when cooperation would be so much more pleasant. I think everything in our society is set to train us this way and have us worship competition. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Church of Competition </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Give an offering, sacrifice and say a prayer,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Used to wear shirts that said No Fear,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And now I should be wearing a pressed collar</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And a well tied tie.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No Pain No Gain</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But no one
seems to be Gaining much</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Light candles, light candles,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We’ll sit in a circle, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And listen to Bible verses set to acoustic guitars</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As we worship at the church of Competition.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are trophy stores on every corner</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To award God’s plan,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s one for the winners</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And mysterious ways for all the rest.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Luck be a lady,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
God and Uncle Sam are men.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jesus and the Lombardi trophy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So reheat this country’s best delivery pizza,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Delivered faster than the competition,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In car and driver 1993’s safest vehicle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Light candles, light candles,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We’ll sit in a circle</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And listen to Bible verses set to acoustic guitar</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As we worship at the Church of Competition.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pull ourselves up by our bootstraps,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s about how hard you work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And the cream always rises to the top</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like the foam on a 12$ cappuccino.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Best coffee in town.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Along with the best food carts</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And best restaurants located within gas stations</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who compete to see who has the most gas.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To avoid the pump, I’d like to ride my bike,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I don’t ride fast enough,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My shoulders slouch in an unattractive way.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But there’s always a great spot</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Open to lock my bike,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With number one brand U-Lock</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Outside,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Light candles, light candles,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We’ll sit in a circle</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And listen to Bible verses set to acoustic guitar</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As we worship at the church of competition.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So turning away</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
From an artificial shared condition,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To the mirror that tells me</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I started this whole race with </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wealthy white male lead.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I still want my opinions to be yours too</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To make a living,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have to be the best.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Convince people,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m better.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I guess I need to open my Bible</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And read Revelations,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where God rigged the game,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cheated to win,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mirror that mindset</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Light candles, light candles,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We’ll sit in a circle</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And listen to Bible verses set to acoustic guitar</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As we worship at the church of competition.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s just business but it’s not.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m raising my daughter the best I can,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To be the best she can be,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can only rate my performance by comparison.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Comparison to friends and acquaintances</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And with
less euphemisms, strangers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I gave up on praying a long time ago,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I pray to be the best,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And the only way to be the best</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is to beat the best</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And to stand towering</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Over,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The corpse of their lesser approach to life.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unbeknownst</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unintentionally,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wonder into a shiny storefront</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the strip mall that is decision making</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Only to stumble into,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And prostrate myself to…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Light candles, light candles,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I sit in the circle</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And listen to Bible verses set to acoustic guitar</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I worship at the Church of Competition.</div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-78490561920760707762015-01-16T14:59:00.001-08:002015-01-16T14:59:57.543-08:00New Year, New Goal to Write Stuff.<br />
<br />
<br />
End.Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-43929598635182343012013-04-16T08:10:00.000-07:002013-04-16T08:10:31.913-07:00The BooksThe Books <br />
<br />
Rockers have a chord book<br />
Rappers have rhyme book<br />
Academics have a text book<br />
Poets have a forest with the silhouette of child looking longingly at an abandoned bird's nest as she clutches a tattered journal.<br />
<br />
<br />Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-67073458574039802682013-04-15T21:08:00.002-07:002013-04-15T21:20:17.824-07:00I'm getting too old for this shit.This poem was started last night as a response to bruising my shoulder moshing at a Bad Religion concert. After the bombing of the Boston Marathon today and a few conversations, the poem grew. I don't know if it's really a coherent view or idea, but it's what came out. As usual, this is a first raw draft with no real editing. Play the song at the bottom while reading if you want.<br />
<br />
This Shit<br />
<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
1.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am too old for
this shit.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thirty and my joints creek a bit.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mistreated by a life time of bad diet,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Disused,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Accented by occasional mosh pits,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Speakers,
and</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Headphones cranked far past 11.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before long, my hearing will be gone,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will have to imagine the power chords.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One night spent letting loose</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Followed by
a day searching for </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Occult bruises</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Trying to
pop my shoulder.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then I stop and
read the news.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am getting to old for this shit.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are too old for this shit.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Humanity should be a grown up by now</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have bruises as a species.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Deep scars
of history.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I check the instant updates on news feeds</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Waiting for
an explanation, a motive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am too old for
this shit.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I stopped justifying myself long ago.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I still play with Legos and listen to music written for </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pissed off teenagers in the 90s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t believe in God, but I believe in people,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And the
fact that most of us would pull</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Perfect strangers
out of the rubble.<br />
My morals are based on comic books. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I believe in Earth and global society, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That clicks
along without regard of my greatest acts.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am too old for
this shit.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who cares who, why, how?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The reaction is the key.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No matter how many fuses are lit, bombs triggered by satellites and
cell phone towers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There will
be people to rebuild it all with,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sore shoulders, bum knees, leaky guys,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Food allergies, bipolar disorder, and OCD</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All that be damned.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am too old for this pessimistic, disgruntled worldview,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
begat by hate and disease on all sides</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
or the news picking at the fresh scab.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I turn up the
speakers and look for tomorrow.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You’re never too old for tomorrow,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Until you
are,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><br />
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;">6. </span>And then it
doesn’t matter anymore.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Never too old for this shit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/SOuBrXS8fuM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-19226556758935663322013-03-15T14:42:00.001-07:002013-03-15T14:42:24.167-07:00BRING OUT YOUR DEAD (LONDON PLAGUE PIT)
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Stanley Mathew's Response to this news article. If you're offended, screw off....</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/15/world/europe/uk-london-skeletons/index.html?hpt=hp_c1</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bring Out Your Dead</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BUILD A NEW RAIL, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Uncover the BLACK DEATH,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They found a Plague Pit,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While digging mass transit,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
London’s fucking calling,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The BUBONIC IS BACK.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
An out of work professors says there’s</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
50000 bodies buried</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
in what’s now called Farrington.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
London’s Burning,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But now we know to blame the rat</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And spare the cat.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s a motherfucking PLAGUE PIT.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On Friday they found 13,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dig a little deeper,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let’s put in an underground mall.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pull out the bodies…<br />
Call Dr. Who</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And Sherlock Holmes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And Starbucks,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The archeologist needs some coffee.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We need entertainment.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dig em’ up</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dig em’ up</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Carbon Date and throw them in the channel,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They’re witches if they fucking sink.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Witch CORPSES In the MOTHERFUCKING PLAGUE PIT.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bring out the dead.</div>
<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-27643433573706813672013-03-13T13:50:00.002-07:002013-03-13T13:50:41.422-07:00Election of the new Magus Summum Part 1I am a little obsessed with the whole pope-picking process. I am not religious and have never been Catholic... but it all just seems so magical. I feel like by changing a coupe words and none of the costumes I could be reading and watching some epic high fantasy. In that spirit and all in fun:<br />
<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
This Just In,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Breaking News!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<img alt="" src="data:image/jpeg;base64,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" /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The chimney over the Pristine Chapel is releasing a white
smoke into the starry Mediterranean Sky, indicating to the world that a new
head wizard has been chosen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Chapel
is known for its expansive depiction of the Spell of Creation, painted on the
Chapel’s ceiling centuries ago by painter and summoner Michelangelo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Usually it is a gathering place for pilgrims
to make offerings and receive enchantments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For the last 48 hours it has been the world’s most powerful and mysterious
polling station.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over the last several
weeks, wizards of the order of Cardinalidae have been arriving at The Veneficus
City to elect to a Magus Summum to lead them after the resignation of Magus
Summum Dumbledorus XII.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As many as 10,000,000 wizards, magicians, and powerless
humans have descended upon the spellbinding Veneficus City and the ancient
dwarven city of Rome in which it is nested.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Each of these pilgrims comes praying to witness both history and the
future with one wave of a wand and the chanting of a few choice orsi opus or
words of power.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Soon, the Vox du Cardinalidae, Veneficus Spokeperson
Cardinalidae Saltator of France, will step to the Pristine balcony overlooking
the throngs gathered in the Veneficus square, cast a voice amplification spell,
and announce to the world who the order has chosen to guide their order and
lead humanity’s defense against Magus Malficus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The question on everyone’s mind is whom will they
choose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Will it be Cardinalidae
Periporphyris, the confidant of Summum Dumbledorus?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe they will look outside of Europa and
choose someone from the United Norse Territories of Leaf.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another popular option is Cardinalidae
passerine of Southern Africa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This would
be seen as a move towards reform for the wizarding world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, the favorite appears to be
Cardinalidae Rhodothraupis of Tropicalia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He defends one of the few parts of the world where a strong faith in
magic and old ways is not just present but growing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember, that the Magus Summum could be
anyone who believes in magic, however the election of someone outside of the
Cadinalidae is exceedingly unlikely. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is always said that real magic takes time, but it appears
the time is coming in mere minutes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<img alt="" 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/></div>
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<br /></div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-21208294371279055432013-03-02T12:08:00.002-08:002013-03-02T12:08:43.209-08:00Yelling
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Screaming doesn't do any good and getting pissed is usually pointless. </div>
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To be read to this song</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/JunIeYAcx6A?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<br /></div>
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Yelling</div>
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<br /></div>
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The cumulative effect of yelling loudly at rocks stubbed
toes flat tires dog shit cat pee rotten fruit spilled milk traffic bad radio
limited warranties broken glasses bad coffee overflowing toilets awful drivers
damn kids on your lawn to-do lists moles computer virus clutter dishes laundry
broken spokes assholes diarrhea pop quizzes bosses faulty internet burnt toast
the man taxes republicans skipping records ruined dinner allergies smokers
hoboes commercials athlete’s salaries your salary corn syrup Justin Beiber new
Saturday Night Live alarm clocks Mondays Wednesdays Sunday nights people crafty
people crows attractive people the filing cabinet musicians batteries bad
bikers calories skinny jeans money sold out events wasted food wine by the
glass mark ups sexism racism classism fraternities hipsters hippies punks bros
women men old people young people Christians Atheists Jews Muslims Communists
Capitalists the sun rain snow home-ownership renting hot coffee cold coffee
mild salsa spilled salsa stained sweaters dirty sheets stale chips head phones
that only play in one ear the third world humane society commercials red hot
chili pepper songs grammar spelling the education system America Europe math
oxford commas me, and you is just a fowl mood, high blood pressure, a twitchy
eye, and a ruined day.</div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-79802267728885760352013-02-23T12:05:00.000-08:002013-02-23T12:05:30.315-08:00I Don't Need SleepRevisiting a common theme. Insomnia.<br />
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I don’t need sleep,</div>
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I just need to lie in bed,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Staring at the ceiling,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Listening to music all night,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thinking about possibilities,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
risks, the past and every person</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve ever accidently wronged.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If sleep is for the weak,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Obsessive reconsideration </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
of the past present and future</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
is for the concerned, introspective,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
overanalyzing, deep thinkers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t need sleep,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I need a time machine</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And a clinical trial on re-dos,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Make-ups and sneak-peaks.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tonight you will be visited by</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Three ghosts says a </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
haunting regret holding</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
a fresh pot of coffee:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ghosts of Insomnia</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Past, Present, Future</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When the grey light finally</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Comes through the window,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Announcing a rainy </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Morning will I roll over</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or step out,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let the rain soak my hair,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My clothes, and remember this </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is what it means to be alive?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t need sleep,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I need nightly reminders </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of the context.</div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-39254851949381072072013-01-05T10:26:00.003-08:002013-01-05T10:26:52.248-08:00SwitchesThis one is about constantly feeling like you should be able to flip a switch and change things, when you should just slowly stumble forward till your eyes adjust and you're out of the dark. It's not subtle.<br />
<br />
Switches<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-JUNsfmYUWabDvMhZ5zw_RqEYN8krFyAFhb5tabeA5jS33VzC4Bio1kOi2o4s5gcTmtH0tcOH3N1825LMNx8xR0Bv5i1fwxb_QR-G44LvNsP6CUpwzsCVU_wEZv8FGYRMJ1_AgkbbFhk/s1600/lumbricus_Light_switch_3_switches_(two_off).png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-JUNsfmYUWabDvMhZ5zw_RqEYN8krFyAFhb5tabeA5jS33VzC4Bio1kOi2o4s5gcTmtH0tcOH3N1825LMNx8xR0Bv5i1fwxb_QR-G44LvNsP6CUpwzsCVU_wEZv8FGYRMJ1_AgkbbFhk/s320/lumbricus_Light_switch_3_switches_(two_off).png" width="226" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Switches and dimmers line the darkened hall.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some are old fashion on offs, pull chains hang </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Getting tangled
in my hair.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have four remote dimmer switch controls in </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My pocket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few of
the switches are lit.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m sure others are 3-way.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All these switches,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So easy to flip,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But the lights stay off.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Trying to find the right button, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The right
quick switch to hit,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Instead of just stumbling in the dark</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until your eyes adjust </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And you make it outside.</div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-54255486669582129112012-12-29T12:08:00.001-08:002012-12-29T12:10:12.155-08:00Damn it feels good (to have the greatest dog in the world.) I think this is the first reference to my upcoming fatherhood I am posting here and I'm sure that fact is going to insert itself into more of my writing.<br />
<br />
A Haiku<br />
<br />
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Surprise! Baby Shirt</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Surprise! Visit from a friend</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This year will rock.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another Haiku</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br />
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Irony Defense.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t really like this song,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s just, uh, funny.</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh44LgOa5zUZ3sQVPp0jVsn8ZwuXeAbbN3qqKVlUkrzLSYlAMTNtkIk-IlV0kCBWEinMUNHxL8QsDiihyphenhyphen4db52FlT7iSg3_MwzcduN7REN2BNVf4mycoWUm67ovuCVdBv0P0K_16JT4_-o/s1600/179331_10103612162404474_66168055_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh44LgOa5zUZ3sQVPp0jVsn8ZwuXeAbbN3qqKVlUkrzLSYlAMTNtkIk-IlV0kCBWEinMUNHxL8QsDiihyphenhyphen4db52FlT7iSg3_MwzcduN7REN2BNVf4mycoWUm67ovuCVdBv0P0K_16JT4_-o/s400/179331_10103612162404474_66168055_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
And a stream of consciousness about coffee and dogs.<br />
<br />
Damn it Feels Good (to have the greatest dog in the world)<br />
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<br /></div>
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Damn it feels good to wear comfortable shoes, a flannel, and
drink coffee as late afternoon fades slowly into early evening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are still tasks to be accomplished
tonight like scrounging for dinner and washing my bulky sweater
collection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this moment:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>there is only frozen introspection and eyes
caught by blinking streetlights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I await
a second wind that will carry me all of the way till bed, but for now, in this
second, I transcend space and time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Birds eye view watching myself type and sip, sip and type.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Closing my eyes hearing the sound of the keys
and the sound of the coffee shop’s music selections.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s a group in the corner discussing the
merits of our president’s Middle East policy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Their engagement with the universe interrupts. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am fading to black…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
… Coffee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Refill.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m back for the
moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My own opinions on the subject
are stirring. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could contribute.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m getting worked up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Breathe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Look out the window
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are people walking their
dogs on three of the four corners of the intersection I’m looking at.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each person would swear their dog is the
best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wonder if there really is a Best
dog or if there is really just a best dog for a person, or for a moment?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now reality sets in, I have to go home and
walk the dog and feed the whole family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The end of my musings is far from disheartening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Reality is, I have the greatest dog in the
world.</div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-75224815409807648892012-12-22T09:41:00.001-08:002012-12-22T09:41:12.700-08:00BIOGRAPHY-CORESo this one is a little crass...<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9G6cmdFcaxbuIimYmqi5NF4sMZPpXFpteb482zBVGIddB58etX6RMXL2eydKSOVJBVjv1hQraT9AnvGcvJMa374_vWpeq4UrjE0XfoRzV6QXwxjp0PgxmMqbkP2rfoB86ZxqlrHOnNoc/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-12-22+at+9.35.25+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9G6cmdFcaxbuIimYmqi5NF4sMZPpXFpteb482zBVGIddB58etX6RMXL2eydKSOVJBVjv1hQraT9AnvGcvJMa374_vWpeq4UrjE0XfoRzV6QXwxjp0PgxmMqbkP2rfoB86ZxqlrHOnNoc/s320/Screen+shot+2012-12-22+at+9.35.25+AM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
BIOGRAPHY-CORE</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(by Stanley Mathews) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m going to start a band,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And we are
going to rock fucking hard.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like Andrew WK on stilts, in a top hat, at a Green Day
Concert with 5<sup>th</sup> grade me in 1994.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But we’re not just any band.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Nope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Theme band.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No one has just a party anymore, so I’m not just starting a band.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We play keyboard-led-hardcore-punk-classic-rock BIOGRAPHY
CORE and you can only see us if you have a Costco card.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
WE GIVE OUT FREE SAMPLES OF ROCK over near the book
department, behind the mom jeans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You can literally dine on our jams and you don’t have to
risk scorching your mouth</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With a microwaved hotpocket available on aisle nine in
apocalypse family packs of 7300 in assorted flavors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Enough for a family of four to each have one
a day for five years….</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I digress,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This is my
band’s fucking press release.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And we are on a mission to rescue the art of the
biography.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>TRACK
ONE:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Key of SCREAM</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
YOU DON’T WANT THE LIFE OF KIM KARDASIAN</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
YOU DON’T WANT THE LIFE OF SARA PALIN</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
YOU DON’T WANT YOUR DISCOUNT HARDCOVERS TO MAKE THE WORLD
DUMBER.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BUY THIS BIOGRAPHY OF JOE STRUMMER.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THERE’S A THREE PAGE BOOK ABOUT ONE DIRECTION,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BUT UPON FURTHER INSPECTION…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
IT SUCKS!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And that’s just a fucking taste. We are public servants,
taxpayer funded like the Police (not sting) or the Navy (like the Village
People)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Holiday season?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why
buy the biography of Will Ferrell when there’s an 826 page tome dedicated to
John Adams?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe a new book on Rosa
Parks? Mark Twain?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are here to warn
you to slowly walk away from the illustrated life of Pat Robertson.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>TRACK
TWO:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Key of GANG VOCALS</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
EVERYBODY LIKE’S HOLLYWOOD,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BUT BETTER BOOKS COME FROM BOLLYWOOD.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ORDER ONLINE BOLLYWOOD BIOGRAPHIES!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
CULTERAL DIVERSITY</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
CULTERAL DIVERSITY</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
IN YOUR BIONGRAPHY<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
IS BETTER THAN WHITE PAGES</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ABOUT GILBERT GODFREY </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(spoke quietly) even though I would read that one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So come to COSTCO, we are there open to close all week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>IF you throw some money,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or a 48 pack of Swiffer Dusters at us we may just play a
request…about GIANT BOXES OF CHIPS (that I eat while I’m reading a biography of
Queen Elizabeth)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BUT I’m not giving that one away here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fuck No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Get down here now,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
TO HAVE YOUR READING GLASSES ROCKED ON!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And stuff a stocking with the life and times of Bruce, Neil
Young, Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits, Miles Davis, and FUCKING LINCOLN.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Step away from ASHTON KUTCHER’s Story…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>TRACK
3:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the key of BARROOM BRAWL</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
EVERYTHING I LEARNED, I LEARNED FROM LINCOLN</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
EVERYTHING I KNOW, I KNOW FROM ABE,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
SO HAVE A GLASS OF YELLOW TAIL, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
AND TURN THE PAGE.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
SPOILER:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>HE GOES TO
SEE A PLAY.</div>
<br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
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Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-55342768359401023352012-12-15T07:27:00.001-08:002012-12-15T07:27:05.631-08:00PeopleThoughts on the terrifying things in the world. <br />
<br />
This is not the most coherent thing I've written, but it is my first attempt to come to terms with what's happening here in OR and what has happened in Connecticut.<br />
<br />
Take this for what it is, one draft, my thoughts on trying to discuss this all day yesterday and instead wanting to pretend that nothing was happening or just hide with a cup of coffee and a beer and stare at a wall. This is not meant as a judgement on how other view or deal with tragedy, but is my personal battle and I felt the need to share something.<br />
<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
People </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t believe in Karma</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t believe in God,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve always said, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I hold out,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I maintain
a belief in people.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And their innate ability to create</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To love, to make each other laugh,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And accomplish the impossible,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With a supernatural intervention.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All of us,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All People,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Solely responsible for our greatest feats.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If your faith is in the tangible</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The your gods have<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>3 dimensions</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Filled with shades of gray.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My faith is shaken.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>By people</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And their<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>innate
ability to destroy</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To forget, to hate, to die,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And accomplish the most disgusting </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Of acts.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Without
supernatural intervention</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All of Us</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All People,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Solely responsible for our greatest failures.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Still lying here, midnight, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Faith
dispatched by news </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
by images and an inability </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
to figure out how we keep ending up here. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I look to our mortality,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As
motivation</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
An unknown timer,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Constantly set, wound up,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>Often
silently manipulated by others.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Counting down.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are interwoven, connected,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Slowly,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>At the same
time, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Killing and saving each other.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>By
terrifying actions,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And small
decisions.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All the good we do.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All of us</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All People.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every religion has angels and devils.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
....</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hold the people close to you,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wave and smile at a stranger.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bob</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-3281238574159145522012-09-12T16:54:00.001-07:002012-09-12T16:54:39.330-07:00The Funkulator The PoetBeen in a creativity stalemate. Wrote this in my head while riding my bike. If I wasn't married, it's probably how I would have to pick up women... (note, slightly unsafe for work and should be read out loud)<br />
<br />
I give you<br />
<br />
The Funkulator The Poet<br />
<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thanks for that free verse series to the female deity,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, next to the stage of open mic poetry night,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ummm, Funkulator…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m The Funkulator The Poet,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Put away your Ipod or Tablet,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Digitized Kindle Walt Whitman,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The lyrical spindle, love poem hitman.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m the Funkulator ,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not an escalator,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I go down,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not an elevator,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I’ll get you up,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m the Funkulator,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not Darth Vader,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can be mysterious</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But not depressed,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Impressed?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thought not, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve barely started sowing</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Seeds of seduction,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Deep in the seat</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of your pants,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Implants,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or by chance, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your beautiful mind.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Funkulator complements your hair,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your dic-</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-tion,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But is looking at your behind.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m the Funkulator, The Poet.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bringing on a Sonnet </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To make your knees quake,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You been asleep? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Be Awake,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or come sleep with me, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or at least have a cup of black coffee.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Earl </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Grey </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tea</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll get a little cream </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
stuck in my mustache,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And you’ll laugh,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll pay for yours in cash,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sacagawea dollars,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A bard and baller. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Funkulator isn’t buried in debt.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wet?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nah, that’s just my slicked back hair,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because I care about grooming, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Clean and well trimmed,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My suit is retro and well hemmed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Funkulator casts with his deep sea fishing pole.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Catching </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ladies, Men,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hooked deep in the soul,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m Funkulator The Poet</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All I can see is a
Funkulator-the-Poet -</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Shaped-Hole.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That I will fill</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With Funkulater play dough,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
From my fireside poet flow.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Listen to the imaginary bass line,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I’m done reciting, we can have some face time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m the Funkulator the Poet,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I love you so much, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I bought a canoe,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With new paddles to row it,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Out to an abandoned island,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where no one is around, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I’ll never be found,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All I brought was my laptop,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And 160gigs of Tom Waits songs</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And Experimental Hip Hop.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I pounded on those keys </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A beautiful letter to you,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But without a printer I couldn’t put it in a bottle,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I packed back up,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And sailed back across the sea,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Went straight into the </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
library, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Stuck in my thumb drive and hit print.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I downloaded some Will Smiths songs,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And back I went to my secret little island, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The palm trees, penguins, and polar bear cubs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I rolled up your letter like a scroll, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And tossed it into the waves.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m the Funkulator The Poet</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This was a metaphor and you know it,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To explain the lengths the Funkulator will travel,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To unravel, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The kittens ball of yarn</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That is true love.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m the Funkulator The Poet,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I’ll take you back to my mansion.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My butler is actually all three kids from Hanson,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Glued together to look like Alfred,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For Batman,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But don’t worry, Funkulator isn’t spooky,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not dark, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But all my light switches have dimmers,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My cooks will mull us some wine,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We can watch Fresh Prince Reruns </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
while it simmers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My couch isn’t leather </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because leather is mean,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s made of a material designed by NASA</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And sold only on TV,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
QVC, Home shopping Network,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Funkulator the Poet will buy you gifts,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As the tone of the evening shifts,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And Boyz To Men, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gets switched on, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
hands free,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
by telepathy,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
my house knows my moods,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
now I’m reading your mind,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
let the Funkulator, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
hold your hand and paint you with a simile…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m the Funkulator the Poet</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I’m not giving that part away,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Think of what happens next</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As an incentive to stay,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where you are till I’m done reciting</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t sing, I don’t flex,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I funk my way to your heart like</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A Julia Roberts movie in the multiplex.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m the Funkulator,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not A terminator,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m all real man,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I did come from the future,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or at least I can predict it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m the Funklator,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I’ll rhyme some more later,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you give me a chance,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Invite Funkulator to the afterhours</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Poetry dance party</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll shake my stanzas</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And thrust my poetic license,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At my audience,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Heard all the way in the back,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like a Greek Amphithearer,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let’s ride home,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On my two-seater</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bike.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Change out of this fancy doublet,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you like.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m the Funkulator The Poet.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/LuyS9M8T03A?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-40177662778980662962012-04-20T11:12:00.003-07:002012-04-20T11:12:58.869-07:00All Our Best TeachersI was listening to the Hold Steady this morning and there is a line in the song Constructive Summer where he Craig Finn sings, "Let's raise a toast to St. Joe Strummer. I think he might have been our only greatest teacher."<br />
<br />
Got me thinking about teachers. So here's some thoughts I rattled off trying to kick a writer's block.<br />
Read it while listening to this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/xgBfoOJR6Rs?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
All our best teachers wrote teenage poetry</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And listened to punk rock or the Smiths or something</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That should’ve brought us all together.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Knowing glances at our mohawks, and band t-shirts</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And feeble attempts to stick it to our parents,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Knowing glances, that this was just the tip of the iceberg.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now I’m older than most of the bands,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I’m always surprised when I hear about my friends being </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Teachers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And even more surprised that they’ve been doing it</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For 5 years. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m a bit jealous of their impact. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hope that someday, my kid gets pissed </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At some system in the cafeteria,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And thinks it is the biggest injustice ever perpetrated,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And there are people there, to temper and encourage,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While humming that first Green Day song they ever heard</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And grading papers with black coffee. </div>Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513465411330151.post-72745894231925814232012-03-14T13:27:00.002-07:002012-03-14T13:28:14.298-07:00Flat Earth<style>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why it would be awesome if there were more Medieval Towers
in our Midst</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
March up to the tower,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Knock on the heavy door</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Walk right in,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Say hi.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Climb the stairs to the top,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Check the view from every window.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
An ascending spiral,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To a windy rooftop,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And a portrait of your </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Landscape. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lighting,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And sun.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
High rises,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Apartments,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Trees</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Plateaus. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You could see it all if the world was flat.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Slightly inspired by this songs...at least the last line.</div>Bob Fantastichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01484119022036935564noreply@blogger.com0