My good friend Stanley Mathews is updating for the first time in a while. (Go back to the beginning of the blog to learn some more. He's my punk as fuck counterpart, and today he came out of his room bucknaked, waving a bottle of red wine screaming. So I stepped away from my keyboard here and said, go ahead good sir, go ahead.
Sorry about the crass language, I couldn't stop him. Here's what set him off...
WHAT THE FUCK! THE TERRORISTS WIN THE TERRORISTS WIN
UNDERWEAR BOMBERS AFTER SHOE BOMBERS, BAD JAY LENO JOKES COME TRUE.
NO UNDERWEAR ON THE PLAIN, ONLY TIGHTS SO THEY CAN SEE IF YOU'RE PACKING
A CHEMISTRY SET YOU ORDERED OFF OF JIHADISTRUS.GOV/UK. WERE THEY BOXERS, OR BRIEFS,
OR BOXER BRIEFS. TIGHTY WHITIES WITH SECRET COMPARTMENTS.
IS THAT A BOMB IN YOUR POCKET OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME.
MAYBE THIS IS WHAT AMERICA NEEDS!
TO SHAKE IT OUT OF ITS ANTT-NUDITY ANTI-SEX BODY NEGATIVE VIEW OF THE WORLD.
MAKE US ALL SHED OUR UNDERWEAR IN PUBLIC AT THE AIRPORT.
YOU HAVE TO BRING YOUR UNDERWEAR IN CLEAR PLASTIC BAGS,
AND LET DOGS SNIFF YOUR DICK ANYWAY.
I CAN'T WAIT TO FLY THE FRIENDLY SKIES AND WATCH
PEOPLE RUB THEIR NEWLY FREED PARTS ON THE AIRLINE SEATS
SECURE THAT THERE'S NO SHOE BOMBER, NO UNDERWEAR BOMBER,
MICHAEL JORDAN LOST HIS HANES SPONSORSHIP
AND I AM FREEBALLING TOWARDS HOMELAND SECURITY.
i AM sTANLEY mATHEWS gOOD nIGHT
No comments:
Post a Comment