Damn it feels good (to have the greatest dog in the world.)

 I think this is the first reference to my upcoming fatherhood I am posting here and I'm sure that fact is going to insert itself into more of my writing.

A Haiku

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Surprise! Baby Shirt

Surprise! Visit from a friend

This year will rock.

Another Haiku

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Irony Defense.

I don’t really like this song,

It’s just, uh, funny.

And a stream of consciousness about coffee and dogs.

 Damn it Feels Good (to have the greatest dog in the world)

 

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Damn it feels good to wear comfortable shoes, a flannel, and drink coffee as late afternoon fades slowly into early evening.  There are still tasks to be accomplished tonight like scrounging for dinner and washing my bulky sweater collection.  In this moment:  there is only frozen introspection and eyes caught by blinking streetlights.  I await a second wind that will carry me all of the way till bed, but for now, in this second, I transcend space and time.  Birds eye view watching myself type and sip, sip and type.  Closing my eyes hearing the sound of the keys and the sound of the coffee shop’s music selections.  There’s a group in the corner discussing the merits of our president’s Middle East policy.  Their engagement with the universe interrupts.

 I am fading to black…

… Coffee.  Refill.  I’m back for the moment.  My own opinions on the subject are stirring.  I could contribute.  I’m getting worked up.  No.  Breathe.  Look out the window again.  There are people walking their dogs on three of the four corners of the intersection I’m looking at.  Each person would swear their dog is the best.  I wonder if there really is a Best dog or if there is really just a best dog for a person, or for a moment?  Now reality sets in, I have to go home and walk the dog and feed the whole family.  The end of my musings is far from disheartening.  Reality is, I have the greatest dog in the world.

BIOGRAPHY-CORE

So this one is a little crass...

 

BIOGRAPHY-CORE

(by Stanley Mathews)

I’m going to start a band,

            And we are going to rock fucking hard.

Like Andrew WK on stilts, in a top hat, at a Green Day Concert with 5^th grade me in 1994.

But we’re not just any band.

            Nope.  Theme band.  No one has just a party anymore, so I’m not just starting a band.

We play keyboard-led-hardcore-punk-classic-rock BIOGRAPHY CORE and you can only see us if you have a Costco card.

WE GIVE OUT FREE SAMPLES OF ROCK over near the book department, behind the mom jeans. 

You can literally dine on our jams and you don’t have to risk scorching your mouth

With a microwaved hotpocket available on aisle nine in apocalypse family packs of 7300 in assorted flavors.  Enough for a family of four to each have one a day for five years….

But I digress,

            This is my band’s fucking press release.

And we are on a mission to rescue the art of the biography. 

            TRACK ONE:  Key of SCREAM

YOU DON’T WANT THE LIFE OF KIM KARDASIAN

YOU DON’T WANT THE LIFE OF SARA PALIN

YOU DON’T WANT YOUR DISCOUNT HARDCOVERS TO MAKE THE WORLD DUMBER.

BUY THIS BIOGRAPHY OF JOE STRUMMER.

THERE’S A THREE PAGE BOOK ABOUT ONE DIRECTION,

BUT UPON FURTHER INSPECTION…

IT SUCKS!

And that’s just a fucking taste. We are public servants, taxpayer funded like the Police (not sting) or the Navy (like the Village People)

Holiday season?  Why buy the biography of Will Ferrell when there’s an 826 page tome dedicated to John Adams?  Maybe a new book on Rosa Parks? Mark Twain?  We are here to warn you to slowly walk away from the illustrated life of Pat Robertson.

            TRACK TWO:  Key of GANG VOCALS

EVERYBODY LIKE’S HOLLYWOOD,

BUT BETTER BOOKS COME FROM BOLLYWOOD.

ORDER ONLINE BOLLYWOOD BIOGRAPHIES!

CULTERAL DIVERSITY

CULTERAL DIVERSITY

IN YOUR BIONGRAPHY 

IS BETTER THAN WHITE PAGES

ABOUT GILBERT GODFREY

(spoke quietly) even though I would read that one.

So come to COSTCO, we are there open to close all week.  IF you throw some money,

Or a 48 pack of Swiffer Dusters at us we may just play a request…about GIANT BOXES OF CHIPS (that I eat while I’m reading a biography of Queen Elizabeth)

BUT I’m not giving that one away here.  Fuck No.  Get down here now,

TO HAVE YOUR READING GLASSES ROCKED ON!

And stuff a stocking with the life and times of Bruce, Neil Young, Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits, Miles Davis, and FUCKING LINCOLN.

Step away from ASHTON KUTCHER’s Story…

            TRACK 3:  In the key of BARROOM BRAWL

EVERYTHING I LEARNED, I LEARNED FROM LINCOLN

EVERYTHING I KNOW, I KNOW FROM ABE,

SO HAVE A GLASS OF YELLOW TAIL,

AND TURN THE PAGE.

SPOILER:  HE GOES TO SEE A PLAY.

People

Thoughts on the terrifying things in the world. 

This is not the most coherent thing I've written, but it is my first attempt to come to terms with what's happening here in OR and what has happened in Connecticut.

Take this for what it is, one draft, my thoughts on trying to discuss this all day yesterday and instead wanting to pretend that nothing was happening or just hide with a cup of coffee and a beer and stare at a wall.  This is not meant as a judgement on how other view or deal with tragedy, but is my personal battle and I felt the need to share something.

People

I don’t believe in Karma

I don’t believe in God,

I’ve always said,

            I hold out,

            I maintain a belief in people.

And their innate ability to create

To love, to make each other laugh,

And accomplish the impossible,

With a supernatural intervention.

All of us,

All People,

Solely responsible for our greatest feats.

If your faith is in the tangible

The your gods have  3 dimensions

Filled with shades of gray.

My faith is shaken.

            By people

And their  innate ability to destroy

To forget, to hate, to die,

And accomplish the most disgusting

            Of acts.

            Without supernatural intervention

All of  Us

All People,

Solely responsible for our greatest failures.

Still lying here, midnight,

            Faith dispatched by news 

            by images and an inability 

                        to figure out how we keep ending up here.

I look to our mortality,

            As motivation

An unknown timer,

Constantly set, wound up,

                        Often silently manipulated by others.

Counting down.

We are interwoven, connected,

            Slowly,

            At the same time, 

Killing and saving each other.

            By terrifying actions,

            And small decisions.

All the good we do.

             All of us

             All People.

Every religion has angels and devils.

 ....

Hold the people close to you,

Wave and smile at a stranger.

Bob