Short Poems on Anxiety.

Time to get vaguely confessional.  Throughout life, I've struggled a lot with anxiety and mental health issues.  Recently, I feel I've made some changes that have helped a lot and am feeling pretty damn good.  That said, here are some short poems that are reflections on anxiety.  This is a common topic for me, so I've also put 2 of my favorite songs about anxiety in here too: Jeff Rosenstock's Nausea and Green Days Brainstew. Enjoy and please don't look at these with concern, but as some reflection.

Short Anxiety Poems

I will crush you

Said  the creature in the hole

To the man.

Crush you from the inside.

____

Mid-30s angst poetry

Is complaining about taxes

And traffic

And a lack of sleep.

______

My Ipod is breaking

They don’t make them any more

Can you imagine getting phone call on your

Discman in 1999?

Sometimes I want to rip my phone

Back into it’s components,

When I just want to relax

And listen to songs about

Zoning out and anxiety.

_________

Wine

Is

Great

But

It breaks

Down

My

Well

Designed

Barriers

That

Hold back

The Incredible Hulk

Of anxiety

You wouldn’t  like me

When I’m spiraling.

_________

I can’t sit through

A tv show

Because I get so

Worried about

What the characters

Think about me.

 _____________

I am Petrified 

of a simple phone call

to anyone anywhere.

Thanks and keep rocking!

Kids (that's not) Music

More rant than poem and very unproofread.  Before reading, note that I own my own bullshit on the topic of kids music and music taste.  This isn't about most kids music or playing it on occasion, it's about awful and insulting kids music that teaches baby talking instead of how to enjoy a song.  This could also be because I'm a bad parent and refuse to let my kid control my stereo!  That's my stereo, hands off the dial!!!

Stream of Conciousness Rant.

Kids (that's not) Music

There is no bigger insult

Than academic music made for kids.

It’s terrible.

No Good, Very Bad

Shit pile bad.

Bleeding ears

Nails on chalk board bad.

Now I’m not talking

About the best of Disney,

Or an old punk rockers decision

To grow up and write songs for 7 year olds.

Not even Sesame Street

Or Woody Guthrie and Pete Seeger.

I’m talking about God Awful

Dumbed down,

Fake Americana

Horse crap.

Baby talking,

Insulting.

Songs designed for kids

By people, I’m convinced have never actually

Enjoyed a song.

Kids music is the Ramones,

The Mighty Mighty Bosstones,

Green Day, REM, Beatles, Iron Maiden …

…Public Enemy, Beastie Boys, Run DMC,

Run the Jewels and B.I.G.

Or any other number of things

You’d like to get hyped about.

Whatever can get you jumping

Up and down,

Singing into a hairbrush

And swiveling your hips

In the comfort of

Your living room at 545 am

Is probably the best songs for you kid.

…but no judgment…

if you get down and jumping,

to a condescending old man

and fake group of kids

singing about barn animals,

then get as stoked as you can,

and own it, and rock it out.

Kids feed on your rocking.

…not my crotchety hipster parent

music opinions.

Spaceman, Spacewoman and the Hero's Journey

I've had this poem in my head for a while.  The Star Wars the Force Awakens trailer yesterday actually ended up helping me finish it up.  Old grey Han Solo!

Spaceman, Spacewoman and the Hero's Journey

Spaceman, Spacewoman

Speaking in laser sounds

And mouthed explosions

In my bed

Looking out my window

Dreaming of

Jedi and saving the day.

There’s not a day

since my youth

when I haven’t imagined

Being the star

of a hero’s journey,

from overweight,

unmotivated

anti-social nerd

To intergalactic space knight

in the span of a montage

and unlikely coincidence.

Spaceman, Spacewoman

Speaking in laser sounds

And mouthed explosions

In my bed

Looking out my window

Dreaming of

Jedi and saving the day.

And I know

As I age,

The number of chances

to be whisked away

get fewer and fewer.

I’m a dad

and a husband,

The hero’s journey now

amounts to neglect of

people who love me. 

I can’t be

the bored kid,

who finds out that

he is the chosen one.

Spaceman, Spacewoman

Speaking in laser sounds

And mouthed explosions

In my bed

Looking out my window

Dreaming of

Jedi and saving the day.

But I know,

My journey’s changing.

instead of flying away

to do battle

in a galaxy far way,

I’ll defend my home.

and raise my daughter

to look up the stars and

Out across the horizon

Because the time will come

when she has the chance

to become

a force to be respected

and strike a blow

against

the empire

Spaceman, Spacewoman

Speaking in laser sounds

And mouthed explosions

In my bed

Looking out my window

Dreaming of

Jedi and saving the day.

There’s not a day,

in my thirties,

when I don’t imagine

Being the star

of the hero’s journey,

even if I play the old man,

Who gives the hero

the courage to carry on.

I am old Han Solo

telling stories

at bedtime

Before saving

the day.

Spaceman, Spacewoman

Speaking in laser sounds

And mouthed explosions

In my bed

Looking out my window

Dreaming of

Jedi and saving the day.

Sugar Sugar Sugar Sugar

I am treating the next few months like a new day. I have to change some of my own bad habits.  One of which is eating way too much sugar as candy.  Food Addiction is a real thing.

Sugar Sugar Sugar Sugar

Getting a migraine

Getting a twitch,

I feel myself quickly needing a fix.

A bag of gummi bears

A can of Dr. Pepper,

Quickly followed by another

And the flow of relief

When I eat a hand full

Of sweet

Sugar Sugar Sugar Sugar

I can’t walk by

A 7/11

Without say thank heavens

For something artificially colored.

I fill up the second drawer

Of my night stand with more

So I can get cavities

And diabetes in the middle of the night.

Sugar Sugar Sugar Sugar

…yes I see the hypocrisy.

I give nutrition advice

While I can’t get control

Of my own life,

Leading by bad example.

The cravings come from childhood

And deep set memories

Weak willpower

And low self esteem

But today is a new day

With new aches and pains

And I just have to sweat it out

And cut it out

Sugar Sugar Sugar Sugar

Can no longer be all that I am about.

Suburbs, bacon, Kosher wine, and my daughter.

Here's some Haiku thoughts I had visiting friends in Baltimore for the last week and some inspired by Peri.  

Suburban Sprawl

1950s happy homes

Didn’t seem so bad.

Eat Eggs and Bacon

Every Morning to live

The only true life

Kosher wine , Kosher Candy,

But only one brand of gluten free brownies

Honey, we’re not in Portland.

There is nothing like

Seeing my daughter try to walk through

A heavy wind on the pier.

After months of eating

Just bread and cheese and crackers

She devoured fresh clams

Easter Sunday is

A bogus excuse to enjoy friends

And eat good food.

Channel the excitement

Of a 2-year-old watching

A plane take off at sunset.